Monday, April 23, 2007

springing up

In case you were worried, it's okay - I found another jar of Vegemite at the back of the pantry. It is, however, my last. This is a serious matter, as Kraft stopped making kosher certified Vegemite some time ago, which means that any Vegemite I purchase will not be kosher, even though it is absolutely identical to the kosher stuff.

No rabbi in the factory, no kosher thingie on the label. What oh what will I do without my Veggie on toast to shock my mouth into wakefulness? Vegemite on toast, plus coffee in mug = reluctantly wakeful moi. Works every time. Wakes me up enough for me to be allowed to play with teensy needles, which tells you something about a. how sharp and alert I can be, given incentive or b. how desperate the bleeding disorder community/my family is to have my kid clot.

mumble, grumble, grumble.

Or, to quote joy's inner toddler, stomps. Do you realize how hard I had to work for toast? The salespeople in Sears were edging away when the crazy woman was cackling about buying a toaster, but damnit, you have to have bread to be able to toast it. And apparently, a rabbi if one's breakfasty fantasies are to be put into play. Ahh, the joys of tarry, yeasty blackness on not quite burnt toast.

It is at moments like these that I have to snort at my own religion. And wish that snopes was wrong, and that the FDA and customs had really, truly decided to do something so silly as ban Vegemite from the country - at least then I wouldn't have to look at all the nearly-kosher stuff on the shelves.

Hmm. Maybe I'll try Marmite. (ducks)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your mother has more kosher vegemite.

mama o' the matrices said...

oh she does, does she? Hmm. I shall have to drive over and look woeful. Maybe she'll take pity on me.

Of course, my current jar is courtesy of her bounty, making this plan a rather temporary solution...