Wednesday, November 04, 2009

the eyes have it

Dear school,

please excuse my mom for being late today. She seems to have had bit of her brain leak, somewhere in the 112 minutes spent in TJ Maxx. There were words to describe the experience, but mostly all she says now is aaaaaaaaagggggh.

sincerely, Eldest

Point the First: we have a wedding on Sunday

Point the Second: I did not know this, which might possibly explain why I did not a. arrange for a babysitter or, b. buy a present

Question: how on earth did the Man end up with the wedding invitation?

Point the Third: I actually have nothing to wear. Not a dramatic, arms flung wide nothing - I actually do not own a dress that is appropriate to wear to a wedding. (For the sake of brevity, I'm not counting the ones that really, holy moly, do they not fit.)

Point the Fourth: Clothing shopping is, generally speaking, a timeless sort of hell. So I don't do it, except under extreme duress, such as when I'm about to visit my parents. Then, I might go - but always to the same stores - and pull a few things off the (sales) racks - but always in the same colors - and then mutter something about needing to wear something other than black/grey/blue/brown and put things back. It's an astonishingly effective experience, and may account for why my clothes are still all black/grey/blue/brown. And not increasing in number.

Point the Fifth: there will be any number of people at this wedding that I've known since grade school, high school, etc. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggh?

Point the Sixth: this would be the week when I pick up a lovely, oh so delicately colored zit. Smack on my nose.

Question: 112 minutes in TJ Maxx?
Answer: because if you are going to have a soul sucking, jaw dropping (who wears THAT? and how does it stay ON? - Judge's Note: extra points for saying that out loud) experience, now would be the time. And that is an excellent place for it.

Point the Seventh: the Toddles appears to have conjunctivitis.

Question: if your child has conjunctivitis, can you haul him to the local thrift shop to bargain hunt? If your child has conjunctivitis, is this an excuse for staying home from the wedding to tend his poor infected self? (um)

Note to self: child with conjunctivitis + allergies = child with three possible types of conjunctivitis (bacterial, viral and allergic). Therefore, child with conjuctivitis is not = child with clear course of treatment. Which means that child with conjunctivitis, if bacterial = child who may remain untreated for an additional 24 hours after visible symptoms begin, to rule out non-bacterial options. (The Imperfects are a little low on antibiotic options, and have been kindly asked to use as few antibiotics as we possibly can. And even then, to use fewer yet.) Conclusion? child is likely to have a compatriot in eye-ooze unless we're really, really lucky.


(unless the eye-ooze upshot is that I get to avoid the whole hose-and-dress thing, in which case, whee! That's almost worth 7 days of half-nelsons at dosing times.)


Rachel L said...

did I read that right? You'd rather have pink-eye than go to this wedding. Ouch. ;-)

Zina said...

Yes. I would rather have pink eye than attend a wedding. I hope you all avoid the infection though.

Hugs to your guys.

And you still call him Toddles? He's grown up so much! I envision calling my 4yo "Tiny" till he's 44yo.

dykewife said...

something i thought that the female head of the imperfect family would like to see:

An unmade bed may appear to be the height of laziness but it could help prevent asthma.

Scientists at Kingston University found house dust mites - which can bring on an asthma attack - cannot survive in the dry exposed conditions found in an unmade bed."

from a news article, the quoted bit is from the end of the article.

Libby said...

You've made my day. It's a relief to know that I'm not the only mother of a child with multiple medical diagnoses who has occasionally been grateful for an excuse to avoid social obligations.

Miryam (mama o' the matrices) said...

dw, you have made my day! The boys' beds are *never* made. Every night, we untangle their sheets and blankets, dig up their pillows and cover the boys.

Since I don't look at their bedroom frequently (on purpose, honestly - if I did, it would be a tidier, me-friendly room. As is, it's a messier, kid-friendly room) I don't really care if their beds are made or not. But it's nice to hear that there's value here other than just me not bothering over One More Thing....

Miryam (mama o' the matrices) said...

Libby, happy to make you feel oh, compatriot-ed. Any time.

And Rachel, Zina - oh yes. I mean, really: panty hose. Need I say more?