of games and families

As some of you know, the Eldest loves games. Board games, card games, sports, puzzles. An especial favorite of his is Monopoly.

Some of you may also know that my family is Australian. We came to the US of A when I was a little tyke, leaving behind a small tribe - no, check that, a large, teeming horde - of family. The Eldest has been to visit this horde (it's a friendly horde) twice now, the Man only once.

These two bits of information fit together here: Hasbro is creating an Australian Monopoly, and is letting people vote for which state should be in the navy blue slots (Boardwalk, Park). Hint: my family is from Melbourne...now, go vote!
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On the subject of Australia, I'm enjoying a fellow Aussie's blog. Jason Graham-Nye is the co-founder, together with his wife, of gDiapers. I've added a link to his blog to my list of things I read. It's a nice mix of entrepeneurism, daddy blog, environmentalism and okay, possibly a wee bit of PR for his product. Which I'm unabashedly happy with. You should see the Toddles' tush in the hawaiian print!

The gDiapers are working out beautifully with us. At home, we switch off between g-flushable inserts and cloth ones, depending on how the laundry's going. Easy, peasy. And yes, when we're out and about we commit the eco-sin of disposable diapers, but what the hey. Taken all together, it works, and it works in style...literally! Happy, happy am I.
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Today, we did some more NAET testing and treatment. The Eldest is not reactive to the egg mix, vit C, vit B or calcium mixes, but was reactive to the sugar mix. Huh. Well, the stuff does affect him, though I wouldn't call it an allergic reaction! Having been treated, NAET-style, for sugar sensitivity, he is now off sugar for 25 hours. So, no fruit, no honey, no sugars of any kind (there goes cereals), no sweetened soy milk (he won't touch the other kind), etc, etc, etc. Oy.

The Toddles sailed through the egg mixture, having already been treated for it, and was negative to the calcium and vit C mixes. He was, however, sensitive to the vitamin B mix - something that shows up in a lot of whole grains. So, no whole grains for him for 25 hours, no fruits, no veggies (except cauliflower), no dairy....oy. Again.

Given my rule of everybody eats one dinner, this was a challenge. So, then, here's what we had for dinner:

Pasta Alla Prima
serves 6

1 lb soybean/rice pasta
1 bunch spinach
4 large cloves garlic
olive oil
1 can tuna (avoiding those in vegetable broth, thanks to a tip from W)
Greek black olives
1/5 English cucumber, sliced.

sauce:
3 cloves garlic
1 tsp salt
2 sprigs fresh dill
1/4 cup rice vinegar
1/2 cup olive oil
Blend in food processor until frothy.

meanwhile, cook pasta in lots of water. Do not overcook! No matter what the package says, gluten free pastas are ruthless about their cooking times.

When pasta is done, saute garlic and tuna in pan with olive oil. When garlic is browned a bit, toss in spinach leaves, turn off heat and stir until spinach is just barely wilted and bright green. Immediately, toss all together (pasta, sauce, tuna mixture, olives, cucumber) and serve. Watch small people go back for enthusiastic thirds.

the annual toy dilemma - phooey

Somehow, I lack the energy to get het up about the evils of toys. I've condensed this rant to these simple ideas:

toys with batteries tend to be problematic, if not annoying
toys that tell kids how to play with them are problematic
toys that keep kids from using their imaginations are worse than problematic
toys that are really an excuse to have your kid play with them, rather than with you, well, you get the idea.

For those of you who want to see the experts handle this, try this:
Boston Globe and childhood development. For people shopping for boyish boys, I recommend also Mothering magazine's article on violent play, in their November-December 2006 issue. Mothering tends to be aggressively lactivist, arguing passionately about the overly aggressive influence of medicine on childbirth and child rearing, so I expected them simply to recite that violent play is bad, bad, bad. Boy, was I surprised. And even more so to find myself agreeing. Sometimes, even violent playacting serves a necessary purpose. (Did I really say that? No, wait, I did.) I come from a home full of aggressive people, in your face, using their bodies as well as their voices to make a point. I find that overwhelming, disrespectful, and just plain upsetting - leaving me on continual watch for such behavior in my children. And yet.

for anyone else, move on. I say, pick a toy that the kid can use a bunch of ways, that doesn't require batteries, that interests them in the world around them, and then hang around and play with them. Toss in a little eco-sensitivity if you can. Don't throw money (unless it's in the cause of funding my kids' education), throw time at the child, and everybody will walk away happy. Capice?

Right then. If you are wondering, yes, this year Chanuka gifts are coming for the kids - a xylophone for the Toddles, and I still don't know what for the Eldest. (His birthday is coming, so we're going for fairly low-key over Chanuka. Suggestions, anyone?) For the Man, however, I have this (if you are my partner, click here. Anyone else, click here.). Yes, I trade heavily on his good temper and affection. And on my child's food source. self-satisfied pat

And onward we go. I'm finally finished filling out kindergarten application forms (what are my son's expectations for himself? To leap tall buildings in a single bound? And where is Sam the Wise going to school? I'm almost afraid to ask.), the Man and I are settling into our annual wintry budgetary negotiations, and planning the Eldest's fifth birthday party. Limited to five and only five guests, he chose wisely and well. By this I mean, of course, that he chose to invite both of his cousins, saving us some uncomfortable familial discussions.

Plans for the party are to make a sort of stage, have puppet and mask crafts, and give each child a canvas bag to carry their work home with them. Some light snacks and 'performance times' and presto! We have a party. No big heaping pile of gifts, barring those for the present swap - I saw this at another birthday celebration and admired the idea. I'll report as to whether it works or not...

Briefly, however, gDiapering continues well. We've learned the limitations of our toilet (one g but not two in a row), and I'm trying a combination of g-diapers and cloth inserts, thanks to a line of inquiry sparked by Mom in Israel. And NAET is sputtering along. Having done two meridian sessions on the Eldest, we've done an egg treatment for the Toddles, and are moving on to the third treatment tomorrow. Calcium group tomorrow, I believe, including...dairy! As my mother-in-law says, if we don't try it, it certainly won't work for our boys, but there's a serious leap of faith here. Caught between the allopathic (Western) and complementary traditions, I'm hovering: when the Toddles had roseola recently, I consulted both doctors - and gave neither remedy. Of course, with viral illness, one can afford such indecision...and with a corn allergy, who can find a safe ibuprofen or acetaminophen for children? Ridiculous but true.

serenades and other adventures

When he was the babes, he'd make these humming, creaking sounds at the breast, telling me he was ready to go to sleep. It was a sweet little self-lullabye, so of course we called it the Creaky Doorhinge Sound. The Eldest had made it too, and it disappeared somewhere around 4 months.

It's back. The Toddles is humming to himself at the breast, singing himself to sleep as he nurses. It's so gentle, so relaxing, that even post-biting, nursing has regained its role as a bubble of peace. And I am just a touch tickled that I'm being serenaded, even if accidentally!

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gDiaper: day two

had our first poop today, as well as our first leakage. The leakage was last night, possibly from an imperfectly fitted diaper, more likely from an overflow courtesy of the nightime marathon nursing champ. Next time, we'll have the extra flushable insert, as the gDiapers folks recommend.

Poop a la flush was easy, although I forgot to tear the insert on both sides, as the gDiaper folks recommend. With a lot of pee, the insert is heavy, and one tear allows the absorbent core to just fall out. Easy. With poop, it's a bit trickier.

Two things, however, remain to be resolved: first, the gDiaper folks are right - I did need more than the two little pants in the start-up kit. (If they know that, then why are there only two in the start-up?) Second, what to do with the diaper wipes from the poopy diaper? Seems to me that I still need my diaper pail, which is a real disappointment.

Tomorrow: considering buying another pair of little pants and a set of liners. Will we really commit to this experiment?
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NAET: session one

Today was the energy balancing, meridian first session of NAET. I have a thin book to read to understand it further, but from the Eldest's perspective, this was easy. After all, there were 'no needles,' he said.

During the procedure, he focussed furiously, cooperating to an extent that actually caused a backlash (I have a theory that the kid has only so much cooperation in him at one time, and if you use it up, you need to brace yourself until the next batch kicks in). We had to maintain skin contact while the practitioner did 'strength testing,' then she did some energy management on me (lots of swirling of hands), and finally simulated stresses on the spine, having me do some stressed breathing (holding a breath, blowing it out, panting). All with the Eldest (or the toddles) in skin to skin contact with me.

Intriguing, and certainly harmless. The boys were perfectly happy with the experience, and I'm content to continue. Oddly, I walked away far more energized than I would normally be at 5pm, when I typically crash a bit. Was it residue from the NAET, or was it relief at finally trying something new? Either way, I was as effective a parent as I normally am...when I am buzzing from a giant cup of coffee, loaded with sugar.

Hm.

tale of two pediatricians

I have a job! I'll write for a bleeding disorder publication, and my boss is someone who really understands the concept of tikkun olam* - but I digress. The point is that I have a part-time job, my first assignment is due a.s.a.p., so naturally I'm celebrating with writer's block. And procrastination. Gee, feels like being back in college..

So hear ye, whilst I can still bear to waste time, the tale of two pediatricians. (And yes, I'm going to be paid by the word, but no, unlike Dickens I have an upper word limit. Lower, too.)

I come from a traditionally medical home, in which too many of the males in our family are doctors. This meant that we kids were never impressively sick enough to stay home from school, and I remember distinctly my father explaining away a broken bone as a 'bruise.' Nonetheless, we all survived, and robustly so, which taught me a certain amount of skepticism for the aggression with which American medicine is practiced, inconveniently combined with an automatic respect for the practitioner.

However, over the past couple of years I've been watching western, or allopathic medicine, and noticing where it's fallen short. Or where it's failed to customize itself fully to the needs of the individual. Especially where allergies are concerned. Here, allopathic medicine is, as my father says scornfully, more like "voodoo" than science. After consultation with our allergist who produced clinical evidence to urge us to do so, we'd decided to explore alternatives, and so here we are.

Two complementary medicine practitioners later, I'd been advised that the boys' immune systems were hyper-sensitive, and told repeatedly to avoid things that might irritate their immune systems, such as unnecessary chemicals (found in household cleansers, conventional produce) and to avoid immunizations. Oddly, I wasn't shocked by this. As a layperson, I have an oversimplified idea of the immune system. I'm aware that the immune system has a variety of parts, one of which created the antibodies to the Eldest's clotting protein, another of which creates the various antibodies to food and drugs. However, taking an ignorant step back, what I see is that these are parts of a pretty ticked off whole. Why prod the whole with a stick?

From this perspective, immunizations seem to be a real risk. When you add that we've steadily increased the number of immunizations and speed at which we give them (some given in the first 6 months of life aren't given in Europe until age 2 or older), and you correlate that with the rise in allergies, in autism, in other chronic conditions, there are some disturbing parallels, not all of which can be explained by better testing mechanisms. So what do we do? Pick the most useful sticks, the ones with the greatest protective power, and poke?

Homeopathic methods for immunizations are slower and gentler. Are they as effective, however? Honestly, I don't know. I could find out, though. And so, here we are, with the babes' first birthday mere hours away, a milestone that comes with any number of well-meant perforations of the leg...

homeopath vs allopath. Familiar vs. unfamiliar. What to choose? And why do I think I'm being honest by phrasing this as a question?


* tikkun olam: the idea that each of us has a responsibility to work within the world for healing, to create rather than destroy, to rebuild and restore that which is broken.

bon voyage, o auntie a!

two thoughts are chasing each other around in my head tonight, twining around each other until I can hardly separate them. But let me start happily, at least:

Tonight, we bid Auntie A good-bye. Initially named Almost-Auntie A, as she is as near to me as kin could be, by the end of the visit she was an outright Auntie, which tells you what a snobbish, exclusive bunch we are. After a week of aunite-dom, the Eldest informed her, solemnly, that he was 'really going to miss you a whole, big lot.' I am nearly certain that this isn't just because she produced a wonderful new book each day, and I'm hopeful that it isn't just because she was the alternate mother - the one who always had time to read a story, admire a line of marching trucks, or play the mysteriously named castle-ball.

She was right when she said that mothers are ridiculously easy to please - a week of unaccompanied showers and bathroom breaks has clearly done me some good. And given me the breathing space in which to see exactly where my discipline has turned into reflexive whip-cracking. I can see that now, and I am quiet enough in myself to try and do something about it. Thank you, dear A.

I'm delighted to say that we sent her off with a splendid dinner, wildly adapted from my new Indian cookery book. Here it is:

Nutmeg Potatoes (Aloo Jaiphalo), adapted from Indian Flavors by Marut Sikka, pg 22)
4 potatoes, unwashed but reasonably clean
4 Tb veg oil
1.5 tsp cumin seeds
1 in piece ginger root, chopped somewhat finely
.5 tsp coarse ground black pepper
salt
.5 tsp nutmeg
.5 c water (or vegetable broth)
2-3 tsp lemon juice
2 Tb fresh cilantro (optional)

Cut the potatoes into thick rounds. Toss oil, cumin seeds, ginger into a deep frying pan, saute until seeds start making a popping sound. Add cilantro and potatoes, stir. Add salt, nutmeg, pepper, mix and then add water. Cover pan immediately and simmer on low heat for 20-25 minutes.
Add lemon juice, stirring gently. Serve warm.
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Tofu and Tomato (adapted from Tamater Paneer Hyderabadi, Indian Tastes, pg 68)

1 block tofu, cut into squares (smaller than bite-size suited me)
handful dried gooseberries, soaked in boiling water (20 minutes? until soft), drained and cut up a bit (options: use dried cranberries instead)

Step One:
4 tsp veg oil
1.5 tsp cumin seeds
4 green cardamom pods
2 sticks cinnamon
salt
onion, chopped
2 in piece ginger root, chopped
12 kaffir lime leaves
12 black peppercorns
2 tsp chili powder
2 c water
1.5 Tb cornflour
1 15-16 oz can diced tomatoes
1 dry pint cherry tomatoes, halved or quartered

Toss oil, cumin seeds, cardamom, cinnamon, onion, ginger into a pot, preferably nonstick. Saute until onion starts to brown. Add tomatoes, salt, lime leaves, peppercorns, chili powder. Stir. Add water, bring to a boil, the reduce heat. Stir in cornstarch, then let simmer for 20 minutes. Remove from heat, pour into a serving dish. Using the same pot, move to step two.

Step Two:
2 Tb veg oil
8 finely chopped garlic cloves
1 tsp black mustard seeds
.5 cup coconut milk (preferably the reduced-fat)

Saute garlic, mustard seeds in the oil until the seeds start popping. Add tomato sauce from step one, stir. Add cut up tofu, gooseberries and simmer briefly. Dump in coconut milk, bring to a boil and call it dinner.
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This is food as I like to eat it. Rich with flavor, surprising, strong, delicate. Ah, happy happy me - and I have leftovers, if the partner man hasn't eaten it all while I type in my eyrie.

But I also have a thought, twisting and wriggling, no matter how hard I'm trying to ignore it: the babes, who plummeted off the weight charts a few months ago, has lifted himself to just under the 3rd percentile for weight. (Note: he began at the 50 %, and yes, I know that kids change their percentiles as they settle into their true niche. This is not, alas, that.) In the process, his eczema flared and the skin around his ears had begun to crack nastily. And he'd wake up, crying and scratching at his itchy face and ears, undoing what little good we'd managed in regards to sleep training.

A consultation with a homeopath and pediatrician later, I quietly began limiting the amount of corn and soy in his diet. Half a bag of Fritos, a miserable night and a horrific diaper rash the next day, and I removed corn almost entirely from his diet. One week later, I am sad to admit that the kid looks much better.

The ears are no longer cracked and oozing, he's not scraping desperately at his skin, and the eczema does not seem to be spreading. And I'm furious. How could we possibly manage without corn? Then again, we nearly did so tonight...but still.

I'm holding fire, but I can feel the irritation bubbling up, waiting for an excuse to turn into outrage. It is time to go back to the homeopath and to talk about NAET, a treatment option that she mentioned last time, and which our allergist did not pooh-pooh. Corn and eggs - that's what I'm wanting. With those, I could do so much...

two sunflowers

Okay, okay, I think I get it this time: shut up and get out of the way. Or possibly it was relax and let things happen? I do get those cosmic messages mixed up sometime. Maybe it was prepare for anything, then take it as it comes. Oh, whatever. Obviously, I'm not really paying attention.

Wonder what a cosmic time-out or detention look like?

The past few days were yet another in a series of lessons in, well, whatever it is that the universe is trying to teach me this month. The Sil-ly came a couple of days late (traffic was brutal on the 'Pike, I hear) for a visit, and stayed a couple of nights extra. For the first time, I watched my recently independant playing son quietly and harmoniously (erm, mostly harmoniously) engaged with his cousin. And the wee ones more or less ignored each other, so that worked out well, too.

Here's the way it went, in shorthand:
*children went for a walk with their father and auntie
*mama and auntie shepherded small people to Lands Sake, a farm in Weston, MA, where small children peacefully picked raspberries and cherry tomatoes.
[Clip: pick the red ones, sweeties. Red, not yellow.
small children run around shouting, I have a red one, like a rose! and, I have a red one, like a fire engine!
Mama eventually realizes that half the rows have no red ones. She stares. Slowly, slowly, she realizes that those rows are sungold cherry tomatoes. Quietly and methodically, she begins to eat...]
*I don't like this food! It's yucky! (Meanwhile, a cousin is working on a third slice...)
* You go on - I'll watch them.
You're sure? Okay - your turn next.
Happy, showered, peaceful mamas...

And now they are gone, speeding back down the 'Pike, back home to Republican-land. I looked around my little domain, and the babes cuddled against my leg whilst the Eldest played one of innumerable games of 'soccer' between Boston and America. hmmm. I heard the slam of a ball into the windowseat, and shout of 'home run!' and grinned.

Ambling into my kitchen, I found mounds of cherry tomatoes and a good quart of mostly-ripe raspberries. Munching my way through the cherry tomatoes, I pulled out a recipe and started making Peaceful Corn Muffins. Here it is:

Peaceful Corn Muffins
(initially meant to be made with blueberries, I've made them with frozen cherries, and today with raspberries. Be generous with the fruit and remember to pick something that adds juiciness, or else the muffins will be dry.)

serves 6, assuming everybody wants seconds. Adapted from Living Without, Summer 2006.
1/2 c rice flour
1/4 c tapioca flour
1/4 c potato starch flour
3/4 c. cornmeal
1/4 c. sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1.5 c fresh blueberries or thawed frozen (or more)
1 large egg or 1.5 tsp Ener-G Egg Replacer, plus 2 Tb water
1/2 c soy milk
1/2 c. vegetable oil (this makes slightly oily muffins. I'm experimenting with an oil/applesauce mix, and will let you know how that goes..)

Preheat over to 425 F, prep - spray/grease - muffin tins. Mix dry ingredients, add fruit of choice. Add liquids, mix until flour is just moistened. Tip: cornmeal absorbs liquid. Move quickly in getting the batter in to the muffin tins after this. Spoon into muffin tins, filling 2/3rds full. Bake until golden, 20-25 minutes. Try not to eat before serving.
Cook's note: the muffins were nicely pink, and raspberries be good in this recipe. But more like 2 cups of them. Best fruit so far in this recipe: defrosted, frozen pitted cherries. Oh, and 1/4 c. applesauce and 1/4 c. veg oil is nice, but makes the muffin batter thick, and it sticks to the tins. So loosen the muffins in the tins carefully once cooked, or change the proportions to have a wee bit more oil and a wee bit less 'sauce.

Time to feed the troops, then head off to the homeopathic pediatrician for an introductory visit. I wonder what she'll be like, what she'll say...I wonder if a nanny will float down to land on my doorstep, blowing away the pathetic few emails from the lesser, somewhat questionable nannies applying to look after the babes...