Sunday, June 06, 2010

things my kids make me watch

Did I mention pink? Um. Well, pink is the color at Chez Imperfect, running a mere half-step (okay, half-box step) ahead of a bunch of librarians, who wear any color but.

I have just spent way too much time watching this on YouTube with my kids, and when I offered the children a bit of funky, Boolean-worthy spoofiness, they riposted by making me watch it with them. Seven times on Wednesday, six times since.

Note: when it comes to entertaining a kid during an asthma attack, librarians beat Jay Sean, hands (er, gloves?) down. But it is a little hard to groove along when a kid's gasping next to you. Ten minutes later, happily, he was no longer gasping and was arguing with me about whether he could choose a YouTube clip about Dennis Rodman, by himself.

Um, no. Why? Because the clips are about Dennis RODMAN, that's why. don't ask me to explain don't ask me to explain don't ask me to explain - cripes - well - um.

(breathe. Cue up standard talk about misusing medication and alcohol. Deliver. Watch child's eyes widen, face grow thoughtful for what is hopefully a crucial millisecond of thought before the eyes glaze over. Cast about for something to steer the kid back to the original topic.)

Look! David Beckham!! with an inhaler! Oh - but he's hiding from the reporters in that car, doesn't want to talk about it - no, asthma isn't something to keep secret - um - what about that Kurt Grote? He's cool, going to be a pediatrician and all. Or some of those other folk with asthma, like - like - oh, Woodrow Wilson? Martin van Buren? Pliny the Elder? and - and - Alice Cooper! See? See? Um. Okay. How about a really, really fast Olympic runner?


Do you want me to explain about Boolean limits?

Oddly enough, even my best puppydog eyes didn't get me a nod on that. But my time will come - o, it will come. The kid stopped gasping, we watched the librarians a few more times, and rocked the house ever so slightly. More, once the albuterol kicked in.

Thanks to a slightly frantic flinging of information, both the Toddles and the Eldest can now tell you all about the high percentage of Olympic athletes with asthma. They've watched the inimitable Beckham bend it, and
can I see someone from the Olympics talking about their asthma? On YouTube? I'm still looking...but in the meantime, hey, Sarah Wachter? A request from the Imperfects: iTunes! please!

No, really - think about it. My kids want to listen over and over and over and over and over to a song about librarians. Help me quirk their little brains, 'k? Please?

For this post, I used a list of famous folks with asthma, which can be found here. Use this information carefully, please - it may make your children roll their eyes at you. Possibly shortly before starting to imitate a bunch of librarians.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the databases!