Sunday, July 23, 2006

a bit of five's anatomy

The Eldest is now four and a whopping half. After he passed this milestone, it became clear to him that he is now moving towards being five years old. Each day, I assured him, you are a wee bit closer to being five. But only a wee bit. Armed with this knowledge, he has been telling people that he is 'a little bit of five!' Who could argue?

So, you might ask yourself, what perspective does a 'little bit of five' have on gross anatomy? (I'm sure you've spent sleepless nights over this one.) Well, I'm in a position to answer.

The focus is mainly on out-put of various sorts, which I am usually called upon to examine. To be fair, I have encouraged some of this, as if the child blows his nose and finds a clot in the tissue, I'd like to be notified, so as to stand ready for the minor nosebleed that follows. But this morning I was treated to a discussion of a slightly different sort:

'Mummy, I thought that I had a tummy ache, but the alligators in my bottom didn't want to push [the offending food] out. And I thought maybe I'd vomit, but I don't have to, and I'm worried that it will want to go out my penis, because the spiders who push out the pee won't want to push this out, too.'

I mentally counted to ten. I took deep breaths. Then started making an odd gulping sound. The baby, engrossed in puffed rice, swiveled his head around to watch Mummy turning red. Finally, I gave up, roared with laughter. The Eldest looked delighted. 'Really, there are alligators and spiders?' I asked. He nodded solemnly...and grinned.

Marvellous is the world of a little bit five.

Shabbat menu:

friday night
curry-lemon salmon (the Eldest was so moved by this fish that he was forced to pound his fist with pleasure on the table, until he was able to speak. 'This - fish - is - great! Who made this?'
green beans
pseudo-bread: the Gluten-Free Gourmet's French Bread. Best bread yet! I was so moved that I finally went and bought a used copy of the book on amazon.

shabbat lunch (with four guests)
spring rolls (plain and mango-mint)
green salad with lox, avocado and hearts of palm
portobello-green bean salad, with goat's cheese
sweet potato salad
dessert: fruit and blueberry pie
(So yummy! A guest and I were so full that, hours later, we couldn't do some sushi justice at our girls' night out.)
Bonus! For those of you who made it this far, here is this, from a nice guy who just couldn't resist. Ever hear of Amy Sohn? Ever read Amy Sohn, complete with a delightedly rebellious greek chorus? Fun, fun fun! Hey, Amy - I'm a SAHM, and yes, I'm a few doughnuts short for my dozen, but darlin', don't you ever come play in my Tot Lot. Ya just couldn't take it, honey. But then again, I suspect you already knew that. She who mocks might just be she who fears...


joy said...

In Amy Sohn you have given me a new person to (dare I say it?) loath. Perhaps we should send her all the diapers she's missing out on? Because we're all poop-obsessed crazy SAHM, which is sooo totally different than WAHM. Um, yeah.

I so want to see what her poor kid turns out to think about all this in 20 years.

mama o' the matrices said...

Yup. Hope Amy's got a therapy fund, right alongside that college fund.

But betcha the kid decides she just did it for the book contract...