Sunday, July 23, 2006

a bit of five's anatomy

The Eldest is now four and a whopping half. After he passed this milestone, it became clear to him that he is now moving towards being five years old. Each day, I assured him, you are a wee bit closer to being five. But only a wee bit. Armed with this knowledge, he has been telling people that he is 'a little bit of five!' Who could argue?

So, you might ask yourself, what perspective does a 'little bit of five' have on gross anatomy? (I'm sure you've spent sleepless nights over this one.) Well, I'm in a position to answer.

The focus is mainly on out-put of various sorts, which I am usually called upon to examine. To be fair, I have encouraged some of this, as if the child blows his nose and finds a clot in the tissue, I'd like to be notified, so as to stand ready for the minor nosebleed that follows. But this morning I was treated to a discussion of a slightly different sort:

'Mummy, I thought that I had a tummy ache, but the alligators in my bottom didn't want to push [the offending food] out. And I thought maybe I'd vomit, but I don't have to, and I'm worried that it will want to go out my penis, because the spiders who push out the pee won't want to push this out, too.'

I mentally counted to ten. I took deep breaths. Then started making an odd gulping sound. The baby, engrossed in puffed rice, swiveled his head around to watch Mummy turning red. Finally, I gave up, roared with laughter. The Eldest looked delighted. 'Really, there are alligators and spiders?' I asked. He nodded solemnly...and grinned.

Marvellous is the world of a little bit five.

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Shabbat menu:

friday night
curry-lemon salmon (the Eldest was so moved by this fish that he was forced to pound his fist with pleasure on the table, until he was able to speak. 'This - fish - is - great! Who made this?'
rice
green beans
pseudo-bread: the Gluten-Free Gourmet's French Bread. Best bread yet! I was so moved that I finally went and bought a used copy of the book on amazon.

shabbat lunch (with four guests)
spring rolls (plain and mango-mint)
green salad with lox, avocado and hearts of palm
portobello-green bean salad, with goat's cheese
sweet potato salad
dessert: fruit and blueberry pie
(So yummy! A guest and I were so full that, hours later, we couldn't do some sushi justice at our girls' night out.)
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Bonus! For those of you who made it this far, here is this, from a nice guy who just couldn't resist. Ever hear of Amy Sohn? Ever read Amy Sohn, complete with a delightedly rebellious greek chorus? Fun, fun fun! Hey, Amy - I'm a SAHM, and yes, I'm a few doughnuts short for my dozen, but darlin', don't you ever come play in my Tot Lot. Ya just couldn't take it, honey. But then again, I suspect you already knew that. She who mocks might just be she who fears...

2 comments:

joy said...

In Amy Sohn you have given me a new person to (dare I say it?) loath. Perhaps we should send her all the diapers she's missing out on? Because we're all poop-obsessed crazy SAHM, which is sooo totally different than WAHM. Um, yeah.

I so want to see what her poor kid turns out to think about all this in 20 years.

mama o' the matrices said...

Yup. Hope Amy's got a therapy fund, right alongside that college fund.

But betcha the kid decides she just did it for the book contract...