Saturday, February 27, 2010

the Eldest muses

Topic for discussion: people who talk to me like they want to fix me, as opposed to people who try to help.

Should've seen that one coming. And looking at the words on the screen, I can see how the concepts spiral outwards, spreading insidious tendrils into so many places of the Eldest's world.

Fuck. This is what's on the other side of the medical microscope - the creeping, spreading sense that people view you as cracked, broken, propped up by your meds, or your behavioral techniques, or your medical/educational team. I can see the fine hand of the loving, worried architects who built this edifice from good reasons, good cause - and curse it, them nonetheless.

And thank my lucky stars that I have a kid who wants to talk about it, even if he doesn't want to tell me why. I don't want to get anyone in trouble, he told me, and related vague incidents to explain his concerns.

Look, I said to him, ducking the question of neuro-normalcy. You are a kid. When you were the Toddles' age, you needed a stepping stool to reach the sink, right? Because you were short, and you needed a boost. Kids aren't broken when they can't reach the sink - they just haven't grown tall enough yet. And that's the deal. Kids need tools - or help - not fixing. And if you are having trouble sitting still and need a squish [hug], it's because you are kid - and kids need help while they grow. Tools are good, right? I checked the kid's face. He nodded, recognizing his cue - despite his current anti-tool, lemme-alone stance. I risked a closing flourish. And in time, you'll grow into the person that you need to be.

The Eldest grinned. I tried to look him in the eye, without wincing too obviously - I have tried to fix him, and I've spent hours and weeks and electrons thinking about him as being a scratch-and-dent. So if anybody talks to you like you need fixing, just remind them that you're not broken - you are a kid, and you are growing.

Right. Now: walk the walk?

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